|is oppositional: two sides oppose each
other and attempt to prove each other wrong.
||is collaborative: two sides or more sides
work together towards common understanding.
|has winning as the goal.
||has finding common ground as the goal.
|lets one side listen to the other side in
order to find flaws and to counter its arguments.
||lets one side listen to the other side in
order to understand.
|defends assumptions as the truth.
||reveals assumptions for reevaluation.
|causes critique of the other
||causes introspection of one's own
|defends one's own positions as the best solution and excludes
||opens the possibility of reaching a better solution than any
of the original solutions.
|creates a closed minded-attitude, a
determination to be right.
||creates an open-minded attitude, an
openness to being wrong and an openness to change.
|prompts a search for glaring differences
||prompts a search for basic agreements.
|involves a countering of the other
position without focusing on feelings or relationship and often belittles or
deprecates the other person.
||involves a real concern for the other
person and does not seek to alienate or offend.